The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
