She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
