I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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