So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
