I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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