A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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