So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
That was before I lit my hair on fire
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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