You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
