I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
