he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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