You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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