Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
