you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
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He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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