I wannas sexs uuuuu
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
A bitchslap is in order.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
