there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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