I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
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