ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
