I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
