This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
