make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
