am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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