Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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