And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Naked Twister starts at high noon
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
