i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
