I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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