Your mouth is God's brothel.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
