Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
