There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
