Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Randomize
