I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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