I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
