It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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