Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
