the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
