I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
