So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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