i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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