who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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