some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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