In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
