she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize