Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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