forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
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