? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
