I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
