covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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