My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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