I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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