did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
