I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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