I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
