i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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