4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
my nose is crying tears of wow.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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