he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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