Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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