I am puke
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
