It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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