I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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