even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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