the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
