I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
