4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
