No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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