Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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