Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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