we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
