the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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